A good reader of mine asks me via E-Mail,

GatorAID: "Hey Jimmy - I been reading you blog an wanna get your feelings about this scene. I'm not some west coast pussy or anything, see, so I'm ready when someone wants to call me out. So, I'm in the telephone store when this guy walks up and says, hey Lonnie. I look at him like, yeah what you want with me? He tells me that my cousin told him I got his cellphone. I do, but I'm not telling him that. Anyway, he yells for his buddy to come take pictures of me. I guess he wants to show the cops or something, but I hide my face, since I wasn't sposed to be hear anyways. This guys been following me all over the place, leaving notes on my windshield, telling my peeps what I have of his, and even tried to get my butcher to sell me some bad hot dogs. That's why I'm calling on you, cause I know you know about bad hot dogs. Anyway, I'm wondering what you think I should do, scatter him with hot dog meat or give him the pussy phone back. He keeps saying something about using the computer to put my face on Celine Dion's body and put it on the internet. I told him go head! I might look good with a slammin body like her. Anyway, I figure, since its almost easter and that I should give it up for lent, maybe my podnas won't find out if I give this punk his phone back."

YO! First of all... you got a hot phone? DUDE what are you thinking?

WTF are YOU thinking?!

CLONE IT!!!!

Clone that sucker 53 times, before you give it back.

Take the money you earn from each sell and open a "Slush Fund." I know you probably dont know how to do that... but that's why the King is here.... I'll give you some pointers.

First of all... what is a Slush Fund and how does it relate to your hot Phone? A slush fund is a reserve account man. Something the big man don't know about. I opened my first Slush Fund when I was 10, in my momma's name. Yeah. HELL YEAH.

Clone that sucker. Sell each phone for $50 a pop. If people ask about service tell them they ahve to order their own... I highly recomend Boost Mobile for getting coverage even in La Tuna Canyon.

Save that money GatorAid... You never know when a good money investment opp might come along. In fact, if you'd like to get into a real new thing that's gonna boom fast - check out this new product I'm selling: Rabbit Stew. It's a new hybrid of Rabbit food. I can get you in for a $300 set up fee and give you a 20% commission.

As for the Punk who wants your phone. Meet him up man. Tell him you want to hand his phone back... then b. slap his face. Hell YEAH.

But GatorAID, in the end... don't forget one thing.... Give 10% back to the church... after all it's God who is watching over us and giving us our daily bread.