I want to talk today about DOUBLE STANDARDS. Specifically with regards to hygiene. that's right, I'm gonna be calling someone out.
I've been stationed at a new position for the past three months at Global Dish Comm., Ltd. There's a IT fellow who's had it in for me since day ONE. He goes by the name Gonzales. That's right, I'm talking to you. I know he reads my blog. I know he's jealous of my carrier.
So this MF'er comes up to me last week and starts in on me, "Yo, Jimmy, your laptop ain't working cuz the keyboard is full of trash." He starts this damn diatripe about me being "dirty" and "messy" and I gunk up all my electronics... including the company laptop. So you know what this freak does? He sits up and writes me up on mis use of company property. Now I gotta pay out $55 for a replacement keypad for the damn laptop!
Well turn about's fair gaim as I always say!!! So guess what I did? I followed this Mother around. I watched his every move. Then one day I got him. This jackball goes down to get a cup of coffee... in his own damn mug. I stroll about 20 feet behind him, watching his every move. Then I catch him. He walks up into our building, past his office and into the restroom... with the hot steamy cup of coffee. GROSS.
He proceeds to sit in a stall.
I enter the neighboring stall.
Sure enough this sick puppy places the coffee cup on the floor!!!! GONZALES, how DARE you call me "Messy," you sick puppy!!!
SO I pull out my camera and take a picture of his cup on the dirty floor.
*snap*
He hear's the sound. He get's all quiet. Picks up the cup. Doesn't say a word.
I start pounding on wall of his stall, "YO. Who's dirty now?!"
Silence. This coward won't even confront me. He know's I have him dead to rights. So I exit my stall, and stand outside his door. Yeah, who's the master of warfare? Jimmy! I can make a war out of anything... even Hygiene. Don't fuck with the master.
"YOU better open up!!!"
I'm pounding on his stall door. People are coming in now... looking at what's going on. They probably think I'm nuts.
They probably think I'm crazy. But then I start showing the picture I just took. YEAH. I pass the camera around. People are like "Gross," "eww," WTF."
And that's when he opens the door. Tears are coming out his little eyes. Like a little baby. "Oh Look at the baby."
I'm laughing at Gonzales. He's crying. People walk out.
YO! GONZALES, was it worth it? Rip me off for $55 bucks and look what you got. That's right ass&^%*.
