Yeah that's right.
I just opened my 8th business... brand new... opened today. I call it, "J.F.K's HOT shots."
This new business venture of mine will make YOU look HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELL, Glamor shots can eat my [edited on March 4, 2008]
Yeah. I hate those guys. They say they make you look "Glmorus" but in the end you look like you always do with funky hair.
Not at my studio. My state of the art studio is located in quiet residential district of Beverly Hills Adjacent. The studio comes with great furnishings... and home trappings. I have a stove, refrig., and food for the models. YOU WONT GO HUNGRY HERE. I even have a BED in case you get tired!
Our equipment is STATE OF THE ART!!! I shoot exclusively on an Olympus Sylus 810 (for those of you not in the know, that's a high end camera.) I have several umbrella's, flash units, ultra violet and infra red film choices. I can also make major big prints (poster size!!!)
We keep our models happy, so it comes out in your J.F.K's HOT Shot (TM.)
We're different then those other places. I have a team of high tech industry folks who make you look good. We got dresses that were once worn by the highest class [censored by legal aid: Jimmy replace this comment with Less 'descriptive' Text when you get a chance - S. Chu] in town!!!!
Beverly Hills Adjacent, is filled with that [censored by legal aid S. Chu - don't use the word 'tail' - please use another world more PC - Replace this text Jimmy before you publish this entry.]
I also went out at all costs to get good legal representation on this new venture. The BLT (Benefit Legal Team) of Uruguay. These guys catch all mistakes and make sure nothing GOES OUT with out it being spotless and perfect. This protects both your interests, as well as MINE.
We require a legal disclaimer signed before any and all photoshoots, so your [legal aid S. Chu: Jimmyou can't use the word "naked" here. Please find an alternate word/description] body looks HOT for a professional publication.
Like I said gents, this is my 8th business venture... I'm still selling the Rabbit Stew (TM), selling off-shore real estate, life insurance, consulting as a Unix Kernel Developer, Enginner, Septic Tank Salesman, and FBI Operative (well not anymore but i'm willing to return to the bizness on that one.)
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
A good reader of mine asks me via E-Mail,
GatorAID: "Hey Jimmy - I been reading you blog an wanna get your feelings about this scene. I'm not some west coast pussy or anything, see, so I'm ready when someone wants to call me out. So, I'm in the telephone store when this guy walks up and says, hey Lonnie. I look at him like, yeah what you want with me? He tells me that my cousin told him I got his cellphone. I do, but I'm not telling him that. Anyway, he yells for his buddy to come take pictures of me. I guess he wants to show the cops or something, but I hide my face, since I wasn't sposed to be hear anyways. This guys been following me all over the place, leaving notes on my windshield, telling my peeps what I have of his, and even tried to get my butcher to sell me some bad hot dogs. That's why I'm calling on you, cause I know you know about bad hot dogs. Anyway, I'm wondering what you think I should do, scatter him with hot dog meat or give him the pussy phone back. He keeps saying something about using the computer to put my face on Celine Dion's body and put it on the internet. I told him go head! I might look good with a slammin body like her. Anyway, I figure, since its almost easter and that I should give it up for lent, maybe my podnas won't find out if I give this punk his phone back."
YO! First of all... you got a hot phone? DUDE what are you thinking?
WTF are YOU thinking?!
CLONE IT!!!!
Clone that sucker 53 times, before you give it back.
Take the money you earn from each sell and open a "Slush Fund." I know you probably dont know how to do that... but that's why the King is here.... I'll give you some pointers.
First of all... what is a Slush Fund and how does it relate to your hot Phone? A slush fund is a reserve account man. Something the big man don't know about. I opened my first Slush Fund when I was 10, in my momma's name. Yeah. HELL YEAH.
Clone that sucker. Sell each phone for $50 a pop. If people ask about service tell them they ahve to order their own... I highly recomend Boost Mobile for getting coverage even in La Tuna Canyon.
Save that money GatorAid... You never know when a good money investment opp might come along. In fact, if you'd like to get into a real new thing that's gonna boom fast - check out this new product I'm selling: Rabbit Stew. It's a new hybrid of Rabbit food. I can get you in for a $300 set up fee and give you a 20% commission.
As for the Punk who wants your phone. Meet him up man. Tell him you want to hand his phone back... then b. slap his face. Hell YEAH.
But GatorAID, in the end... don't forget one thing.... Give 10% back to the church... after all it's God who is watching over us and giving us our daily bread.
GatorAID: "Hey Jimmy - I been reading you blog an wanna get your feelings about this scene. I'm not some west coast pussy or anything, see, so I'm ready when someone wants to call me out. So, I'm in the telephone store when this guy walks up and says, hey Lonnie. I look at him like, yeah what you want with me? He tells me that my cousin told him I got his cellphone. I do, but I'm not telling him that. Anyway, he yells for his buddy to come take pictures of me. I guess he wants to show the cops or something, but I hide my face, since I wasn't sposed to be hear anyways. This guys been following me all over the place, leaving notes on my windshield, telling my peeps what I have of his, and even tried to get my butcher to sell me some bad hot dogs. That's why I'm calling on you, cause I know you know about bad hot dogs. Anyway, I'm wondering what you think I should do, scatter him with hot dog meat or give him the pussy phone back. He keeps saying something about using the computer to put my face on Celine Dion's body and put it on the internet. I told him go head! I might look good with a slammin body like her. Anyway, I figure, since its almost easter and that I should give it up for lent, maybe my podnas won't find out if I give this punk his phone back."
YO! First of all... you got a hot phone? DUDE what are you thinking?
WTF are YOU thinking?!
CLONE IT!!!!
Clone that sucker 53 times, before you give it back.
Take the money you earn from each sell and open a "Slush Fund." I know you probably dont know how to do that... but that's why the King is here.... I'll give you some pointers.
First of all... what is a Slush Fund and how does it relate to your hot Phone? A slush fund is a reserve account man. Something the big man don't know about. I opened my first Slush Fund when I was 10, in my momma's name. Yeah. HELL YEAH.
Clone that sucker. Sell each phone for $50 a pop. If people ask about service tell them they ahve to order their own... I highly recomend Boost Mobile for getting coverage even in La Tuna Canyon.
Save that money GatorAid... You never know when a good money investment opp might come along. In fact, if you'd like to get into a real new thing that's gonna boom fast - check out this new product I'm selling: Rabbit Stew. It's a new hybrid of Rabbit food. I can get you in for a $300 set up fee and give you a 20% commission.
As for the Punk who wants your phone. Meet him up man. Tell him you want to hand his phone back... then b. slap his face. Hell YEAH.
But GatorAID, in the end... don't forget one thing.... Give 10% back to the church... after all it's God who is watching over us and giving us our daily bread.
Official East Coast Distributor...
That's right.
I'm an official West Coast distributor of a brand new product:
Rabbit Stew (tm) by Puke Ranch
As an affiliate, let me tell you (my loyal readers) what Rabbit Stew is all about. "Several farmers got together to perfect a food formula for rabbit diets. These farmers were not happy with the low protein content of the average consumer grade Rabbit Food. So they went out and created their own. The secret of their success is in the high grade ingredients used to make this wonderful product."
That's what it says on the box. Here's my take:
Edward Puke and the other farmers at Puke Ranch have totally developed the best hybrid rabbit food on the MARKET!!!!
This stuff is the shit.
Rabbit food has been totally reworked and transformed.
Rabbits can now grow muscle mass like never before.
While some complain about the hair loss with the muscle gain, it's not really a big deal. You're growing msucle!! Who needs hair! Also - if you cut the Rabbit Stew formula with vegatable oil, the hair loss subsides.
This is a high grade product for growing powerful, meat eating rabbits. That's right, MEAT EATING. This formula establishes their diet along a 10 grade track. You start out with Rabbit Stew G1 and move up to G10 within 3 years. By that time your rabbit is a LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTING machine.
I've seen em. I've seen these rabbits on the Puke ranch. They are so tough, they can take on baby pit bulls.... and win!
The secret to their sucksesful formula is the primary ingredients. These high grade ingredients are crammed into solid food pellets. Unlike that other junk that looks like deer droppings, this stuff looks just like DOG and CAT FOOD!
It took some genius to get the light tan look of dry dog food, but Edward Puke was able to pull it off.
So what's the secret to this miracle Rabbit vitamin concoction? Well they told me to keep a lid on this... but I figure my reader's deserve the inside scoop. Rite? RITE!
E. Puke discovered that he had some weak sickly Rabbit's being born. So he showed me, when I visited his ranch... that he took the sickly ones away and began to discover what was causing this weakness. His first theory was that the animals had low protein. He tried various protein supliments mixed into their greens, cabbage and store bought food. NOTHING was working. Bunnies were still being born weak and sickly.
He was about to give up on the protein challenge with the Rabbits, when he accidentally discovered a new, high protein source that not only cured the Rabbits of their weakened conditions - but also created new breeds of rabbits that were stronger, muscular and well toned. Most lost their hair, in place of the high muscle mass.
E. Puke began changing the formula through stages (You will see them sold as Grades 1 through 10.) Each stage new ingredients were added and previous ones altered. It allows the Rabbit owner to tailor the look of their rabbit. A G10 Rabbit is all muscle mass and a meat eater. It will have no fur, or hair... whereas a G1 Rabbit will retain the hair, and just gain some muscle but remain a basic rabbit.
So what's the secret ingredient you ask?
Baby Rabbits!
Yeah that's all it is. Puke Farms noticed this accidentally. They had ground some of the sick bunnies into meat patties for the hogs. Mixing the meat with hay they mistakenly fed it to the rabbits! G1 was born!
After that Edward Puke began on different qualities of the bunny rabbit Protein. Each grade has different concentrations of rabbit meat, and rabbit peneal glands. by grade G10 your Rabbit will be on pet steroids.
Imagine your rabbit being so strong, hairless, and ripped that it could take on a 35lb Lab and win! Hell YEAH!
Contact me: I'm an official North American Affiliate!!! I offer sub affiliate percentages that are better profit margins then Mela Luca and Amway!!!!
I'm an official West Coast distributor of a brand new product:
Rabbit Stew (tm) by Puke Ranch
As an affiliate, let me tell you (my loyal readers) what Rabbit Stew is all about. "Several farmers got together to perfect a food formula for rabbit diets. These farmers were not happy with the low protein content of the average consumer grade Rabbit Food. So they went out and created their own. The secret of their success is in the high grade ingredients used to make this wonderful product."
That's what it says on the box. Here's my take:
Edward Puke and the other farmers at Puke Ranch have totally developed the best hybrid rabbit food on the MARKET!!!!
This stuff is the shit.
Rabbit food has been totally reworked and transformed.
Rabbits can now grow muscle mass like never before.
While some complain about the hair loss with the muscle gain, it's not really a big deal. You're growing msucle!! Who needs hair! Also - if you cut the Rabbit Stew formula with vegatable oil, the hair loss subsides.
This is a high grade product for growing powerful, meat eating rabbits. That's right, MEAT EATING. This formula establishes their diet along a 10 grade track. You start out with Rabbit Stew G1 and move up to G10 within 3 years. By that time your rabbit is a LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTING machine.
I've seen em. I've seen these rabbits on the Puke ranch. They are so tough, they can take on baby pit bulls.... and win!
The secret to their sucksesful formula is the primary ingredients. These high grade ingredients are crammed into solid food pellets. Unlike that other junk that looks like deer droppings, this stuff looks just like DOG and CAT FOOD!
It took some genius to get the light tan look of dry dog food, but Edward Puke was able to pull it off.
So what's the secret to this miracle Rabbit vitamin concoction? Well they told me to keep a lid on this... but I figure my reader's deserve the inside scoop. Rite? RITE!
E. Puke discovered that he had some weak sickly Rabbit's being born. So he showed me, when I visited his ranch... that he took the sickly ones away and began to discover what was causing this weakness. His first theory was that the animals had low protein. He tried various protein supliments mixed into their greens, cabbage and store bought food. NOTHING was working. Bunnies were still being born weak and sickly.
He was about to give up on the protein challenge with the Rabbits, when he accidentally discovered a new, high protein source that not only cured the Rabbits of their weakened conditions - but also created new breeds of rabbits that were stronger, muscular and well toned. Most lost their hair, in place of the high muscle mass.
E. Puke began changing the formula through stages (You will see them sold as Grades 1 through 10.) Each stage new ingredients were added and previous ones altered. It allows the Rabbit owner to tailor the look of their rabbit. A G10 Rabbit is all muscle mass and a meat eater. It will have no fur, or hair... whereas a G1 Rabbit will retain the hair, and just gain some muscle but remain a basic rabbit.
So what's the secret ingredient you ask?
Baby Rabbits!
Yeah that's all it is. Puke Farms noticed this accidentally. They had ground some of the sick bunnies into meat patties for the hogs. Mixing the meat with hay they mistakenly fed it to the rabbits! G1 was born!
After that Edward Puke began on different qualities of the bunny rabbit Protein. Each grade has different concentrations of rabbit meat, and rabbit peneal glands. by grade G10 your Rabbit will be on pet steroids.
Imagine your rabbit being so strong, hairless, and ripped that it could take on a 35lb Lab and win! Hell YEAH!
Contact me: I'm an official North American Affiliate!!! I offer sub affiliate percentages that are better profit margins then Mela Luca and Amway!!!!
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